Author: monksalive

With my life on the line__ Where do I go? Do not wince and turn away! The death blow is only once headed your way and when it comes, it will embrace you like an old friend. The fear and imagined hell you close your eyes & mind & heart to is no hell at all but your life rising up to meet you. Live in a space of readiness. Bear your aliveness bravely, clumsily, gracefully, excitedly, proudly, generously, openly, silently, happily, humorously, loudly. Welcome your life every moment as you will one day welcome death, for life is merely death cloaked in adventure. Set the table, put on the kettle. Today we celebrate the return of our old friend.

The most important work I will do this month is naming what I want. Where does my body want to be? How do I want to dress everyday? What work lights me up? What dream do I want to dream me into existence? I create the world in my likeness. This world is kind and patient. This world is not afraid of its shadow. This world knows silence and hungers for quiet moments when the secrets of the universe might reveal themselves. The world is my ally so I must also be my ally because I am the world. This world is alive. This world is bold colors and scented air. This world loves being the world. It shines, it shakes, it announces itself with every exhale and it breathes in the abundance of our prayers.

Continuing the flow of magic. The old habits of holding myself outside my body continue needing steady, compassionate, consistent readjustment. Micromeditate to settle back into the heart. I will assume the qualities of lepidolite — soft, iridescent purple, sensitive; layers settling upon layers. Listen more than you speak. You do not need to explain yourself, simply represent the way and others will follow. Allow yourself to flow. Remind yourself of all the gifts you have been given and the abundance waiting for you as soon as you’re ready. You get to live. You get to do the work. You get to overcome the limits of your thinking. Give gratitude for each new day, and every night.

Triggering multiple old ways of thinking these past couple weeks. The two wounds: Rejection & Lack. I’m still bothered when people don’t make time for me (rejection) AND I feel like it’s up to me to accommodate them for fear of losing their friendship (lack). However, there is no lack of people who are both interesting & interested! Pour yourself into what you love, let yourself love what you love and focus wholly on the beautiful ways what you love loves you back. Music is your most faithful companion. The trees, the air, your relatives surround you loving you. Your human relatives will see how generously your love loves you and will follow suit. Stay generous, stay kind, stay clear. Continue visualizing all of the fun and clever ways the universe is guiding you and playing with you. All of this is a beautiful, fun, funny, & interesting trip through the cosmos.

The longest night, illuminated by a near full moon. A time I find myself entering into my solemnity & loneliness. Releasing last night, the judgment I hold for these feelings and simply accepting their presence. Michelle says loneliness is a message from the universe that it misses you, and that the escape hatch is to simply return whole-hearted into your authentic expression. So in my quietude, I listen for the lonely voice of authentic expression I seem to be ignoring. Defined less by my criticism of how others do — and more by my example of how I do. To receive love as it comes and seek less, permission or validation, from the outside world. The unnameable, unspoken energy of being there. Let all of you exist, Heather.

Everything is sacred. These words are sacred glyphs. The echo in my mind is sacred sound. The air I draw in, the air you draw out, is sacred breath. What transpired over the past month so that I feel the full embodiment of a truth I have known & believed since entering into this world? The distinct absence of doubt. The gentle ability to truly relax. Surrender. Healthier, more accurate metaphors to describe the experience of how we can know each other. Culture grows as we direct it to grow. We prune our synapses, our ideas, our words, our actions, our habits. I am not interested in going viral, I am interested in cultivation. Our work is less about jumping up and down seeking attention, but turning down the volume of unhealthy thinking and directing attention — one step ahead of the river, carving a bed.

Rivers flow when the streams that feed them are healthy, unrestricted. Rivers dry when the streams that feed them are unhealthy, restricted. Rivers overflow when the streams that feed them are unhealthy, unrestricted. Healthy community & environment coupled with freedom to form and move leads to a powerful force that provides sustenance, energy, throughputs. A healthy watershed BEGINS w generous distribution of resources to nourish its environment first. What is left enters the riverine system to work in COLLABORATION with that which arrives from other watersheds to provide different, but still generous gifts to the larger network of waterways. A river is both the way and the guide. You can surrender and flow to source, or you can travel up and return to source.

What would it feel like to chase things money can’t buy? A new question arose for me this weekend as the excitement of abandoning dark money settled. Feeling responsible for articulating a way forward in the human relationship of business. How do I guide this company into significant transition as the realities of climate disruption emerge ever present? What mindset would assist the sales team? What sacrifices of the old model are we willing to make right now that will soon trigger a growth beyond that consciousness? We need to heal the wound of separation from our Mother. When the individual tastes that wholeness, all desire will turn towards community and well being. Accessing deep love in all situations and transforming all transaction into sacred exchange. Release the tension of needing to know and surrender to the knowing already within.

Keep using your voice, balance, keep listening to your voice. You know which teachers you are meant to ask for guidance, so ask them. You know you are meant to be practicing so practice. You know writing begets clarity and peace, so write. You know your body needs to work heavy, so give it heavy work. When do you rest? And how much stuff do you need to accomplish before you can feel like you can let it go? Build the habits and the system so you can trust the process while you are away in a present state of rest. Make schedules and stick to them. Adjust as needed when the tasks evolve. Learn from the process and enjoy the process. Let the process be the accomplishment.

Life on the edge, compelled into novelty of spirit & psychology. Facing the void ahead, leads to the acute sense of abandoning what’s behind. Is there a way to imagine progress without the 2D of vision? Can the sonic reality of what’s coming be as loud as the sonic reality of what has come? To integrate these thought energies into the 3D is the challenge I want right now. In reality, I lack very little… or what I lack is by my choosing. Having lack must define an edge I find useful — what maturity does it excuse me from growing into? And when did this start? We joked about this in music school → if you don’t practice, you don’t have to live through the embarrassment of going for it and failing. But out here on the edge, there is no measure of failure. What would I have to give up if I admitted to myself that I do not have lack, I have abundance? What embarrassment am I able to avoid because of this story of lack? The longer I go attaching to this story, the greater the embarrassment when I am finally called to reckoning with this failure to rise to the occasion of my own life.

Areas of my life where I would like to see improvement through the steady release of a feeling of lack:

• I have an uncanny ability to find my people
• My periods of rest are complete + profound
• I perceive the abundance of the void and know how to play with its gifts
• Where I have gaps in my knowledge, I also have way-showers to compassionately correct my course.

I honor my ability to connect ideas and people together in meaningful ways. I give thanks to my brainbody for perceiving the possibilities and inviting me into play. And I lift up my courage to enter into the work of training my prefrontal cortex.